Free! Nooooot!

You can never be free…

When you are small and young, you are chained to weakness and immaturity.
When you get older, you are chained to studies and parents hopes and dreams.
When you finished studying, you are chained to boredom and seeking new paths.
When you are an adult, you are chained to responsibilities and correct judgement.
When you get married, you are chained to your family.
When you get old, you are chained to sickness and frailness.

But human is a free being although he is chained…

Of Mother and Girl...

This entry dedicated to my mother… If she reads that is. It took me quite sometime to realise and understand why you ask me to be careful with girls… What had happen recently proves what you said is right. Just be glad that it did not happen to me and why it took me so long to figure out you are right is because it had never happened to me before… Or maybe it happened to me, just that I did not realise it… Hmmmm…

Anyway, like I said, do not worry, for nothing happen to me. And I must say, your first intuition on girls is quite uncanny and what you had said is true… Just that I do not want to take it because of my heart and ego… But I am still safe, thanks to many people around me, for being my eyes when I am blinded, for being my ears when I am deaf, for being my reason when I cannot think straight…

The only problem now… The feeling in the heart does not go away that easily… I wish you can discard it just like throwing laptops out of the window…

My Greatest Wish...

One of the super powers I really want currently is the ability to read people’s thought… I actually find this one girl interesting, Emma Frost, an X Men of Marvel Comics. She is a telepath and not only she can read mind but by reading their mind, she gets to speak that person mother tongue too…

If she is with me, there will be lots of stuff I want her to tell me from people around me. I know it is wrong, but it is hard to get the whole truth from a person. Sometimes a person might tell you something that sound like truth but then you find out it is not. When a person talks, with their intonation and everything, if they are really good, they can fool you.

There are also people born with honey at the tip of their tongue. Sweet words are woven every time they say something. If they use it properly, it can be soothing and boost your spirit, your morale. Add lies to the speech, something nice to listen to but can be very painful later on when you realise what it really mean… Still it will be nice if I can get to see the whole picture, to really know what is going on behind my back, what people said about you when you are not around, what they really think of you in their mind and do they really mean what they said…

My greatest wish and Allah grants me part of it. Alhamdulillah it makes me stronger but I just wish I know more, just out of my curiosity…

Whatever happened, happen for reason...

No matter what had happened… I still believe it happen for good reason. There are things I cannot see straight away but I was given the chance to rethink my next step and my next course of action before it was too late… I was saved many times over…

Guard your heart well, for if you lose it all then you will lose yourself. I nearly did that many times, over and over again. For friends who didn’t deserve that, for things that didn’t deserve that and for love that didn’t deserve that… I am thankful that I can still walk away without too much damage on both side of the party… I hope… And I think so…

No matter what happen… I still believe it will enrich our experience. Be thankful for what you had felt, there are people who might never had the chance to feel that. There are times that I think that people life and even mine are better than the best movies or dramas… Everyday events are just so exciting and to be part of it, I am just so thankful that I am there and learn to be better. When thing happened, you either linger in the past or move forward. You either be better or worst. Always pray you will have the strength to move forward and become better…

Dodo Dodol!

It is the truth that up until now, whenever I see dodol, hear dodol and eat dodol, I thought it was the same all over the Malaysia. I learn that dodol can be found in Indonesia, Brunei (duh!), Philippines, Singapore (double duh!), Sri Lanka and India. This year Raya, I had uncover the truth about this dodol and how naïve I had been all this while.

The Semenanjung Malaysia only has TWO kinds of dodol, Tepung Pulut (Glutinous Rice) dodol and Durian dodol. There is a commercialise dodol with Pandan flavouring but this is not consider as original dodol. Sarawak has more variety of dodol and all this while I thought it was the same all over the country. The best dodol is made in Brunei and they have even more variety and much more creative in dodol making. Dodol is very similar to the Chinese New Year Nien Kau in term of ingredients except that dodol has coconut milk.

Then it strikes me why all this while, in the television, the dodol shown will all be black but whenever I went for Raya visiting, there will lots of different colours of dodol. Most of Malaysian Raya programs were made in Semenanjung so the main theme, ideology, practices and food will be theirs. Had they been more adventurous and went over to Sarawak and Sabah, they might probably discover new things… The only thing they know different in Sarawak is the Kek Lapis…


I had grown up eating different kind of dodol, durian dodol, papaya dodol, green bean dodol, red bean dodol, black bean dodol, pineapple dodol, potato dodol and cucumber dodol. In Brunei, tembedak dodol, terap dodol and probably few other more dodol will be added to the list. The Brunei dodol is also better in texture and taste. The Borneo island dodol somehow use the local fruits as the main ingredients…

The green dodol: Green bean dodol, the brown dodol: Red bean dodol, the light brown dodol: potato dodol

So, in truth, I had never eaten the Semenanjung dodol because it is totally different from our dodol. I was told, I do not have to look forward eating the Semenanjung dodol anyway because it is not as nice and tasty as the one we have here… Maybe I should just try to satisfy my curiosity and judge the Semenanjung dodol better. Until then, I am enjoying my Raya with the dodols…